better in this section   <img src="/wp-content/uploads/invision_emoticons/wink.png" alt="" data-emoticon="" srcset="/wp-content/uploads/invision_emoticons/wink@2x.png 2x" width="20" height="20">

"You can modify only one person's karma every six hours.




Please wait until this timeout period has passed before modifying any person's karma again."


 




i would have returned the favor for both of you...  <img src="/wp-content/uploads/invision_emoticons/sad.png" alt="" data-emoticon="" srcset="/wp-content/uploads/invision_emoticons/sad@2x.png 2x" width="20" height="20">

thank you both for the comments

QuoteYou are a true humorist' date=' Nath  :lol:  I always look forward to reading jokes you post here  :cheer:[/quote'] 




thanks a lot friend and you can tell me Nathan




you motivated me to post new jokes:


 




warning d*rty joke


 


<div class="ipsSpoiler" data-ipsspoiler="">

<div class="ipsSpoiler_header">



A man is riding aimlessly through the desert on a donkey. He is not hungry or thirsty, because he has a bottomless bowl of fruit. He wanders for about a week and eventually gets pretty horny. He gets to the point where he can't stand it anymore.




So he decides to try and have s*x with the donkey.




He drops his pants and positions himself under the donkey. But, to his dismay, the donkey walks away.




Only slightly discouraged, the man decides to try again. He walks to where the donkey is standing, positions himself under the donkey, and right before he goes for it, the donkey walks away again. Now the man is getting frustrated.




As he prepares for his third and final try, he sees a vision. A beautiful, naked woman appears out of nowhere. She approaches the stunned man, who until recently, believed that he was the only person for hundreds of miles.




She smiles at him and says, "I would do anything for that bowl of fruit you have."




"Anything?" he says, getting fairly excited.




"Yes, anything." she replies.




So he says, "Will you hold the donkey?"


 


 




</div>

 


 


 




Wife: "What are you doing?"




Husband : Nothing.




Wife : "Nothing...? You've been reading our marriage




certificate for an hour."




Husband : "I was looking for the expiration date."


 


 




A blond and her husband are lying in bed listening to the next door neighbor's dog. It has been in the backyard barking for hours and hours.




The blond jumps up out of bed and says, "I've had enough of this".




She goes downstairs.




The blond finally comes back up to bed and her husband says, "The dog is still barking,




What have you been doing?"




The blond says, "I put the dog in our backyard, let's see how THEY like it!


 


 




A man in a pub asks for a beer.




The barman says, "Sure, that'll be one dollar."




"One dollar?" exclaims the man. Reading the menu, he says, "Could I have steak and chips?"




"Certainly," says the barman, "that'll be two dollars."




"Two dollars?" cries the man. "You're joking. Where's the guy who owns this place?"




The barman says, "Upstairs, with my wife"."




The man says, "What's he doing upstairs with your wife?"




The barman says, "The same thing I'm doing to his business."


 




another joke i think i posted before but maybe you haven't read it




d*rty joke


 




<div class="ipsSpoiler_header">



Husband always insisted on making love in the dark.




After 20 years wife turns on the light, finds him holding a vibrator.




She goes balistic, "You impotent bas*ard! How could you lie to me all these years?"




Husband looks her straight in the eyes & calmly says, "I'll explain the toy, you explain the kids....."


 


 




</div>

 


 


 




hope you like them


</div>

very good




+1  <img src="/wp-content/uploads/invision_emoticons/smile.png" alt="" data-emoticon="" srcset="/wp-content/uploads/invision_emoticons/smile@2x.png 2x" width="20" height="20">  for averything you uploaded here

new jokes :


 




Golfer: "How do you like my game?"




Caddy: "Very good sir, but personally, I prefer golf."


 




Golfer: "You've got to be the worst caddy in the world."




Caddy: "I don't think so sir. That would be too much of a coincidence."


 




Golfer: "I'd move heaven and earth to break 100 on this course."




Caddy: "Try heaven, you've already moved most of the earth."


 




Golfer: "Do you think my game is improving?"




Caddy: "Yes sir, you miss the ball much closer now."


 




Golfer: "Think I'm going to drown myself in the lake."




Caddy: "I don't think you can keep your head down that long."


 




hope you understand the jokes above they are funny


 


 


 


 




Scientists invented a machine to catch thieves.




In 30 minutes in Canada the machine caught 10 thieves, in 15 minutes in the U.S the machine caught 5 thieves, in 3 minutes in Trinidad thieves stole the machine.


 


 


 




A group of 40 year old buddies discuss where they should meet for dinner. Finally it is agreed upon that they should meet at the Gausthof zum Lowen restaurant because the waitress's there have low cut blouses and nice breasts.


 




10 years later, at 50 years of age, the group meets again and once again they discuss where they should meet. Finally it is agreed that they should meet at the Gausthof zum Lowen because the food there is very good and the wine selection is good also.


 




10 years later at 60 years of age, the group meets again and once again they discuss where they should meet. Finally it is agreed that they should meet at the Gausthof zum Lowen because they can eat there in peace and quiet and the restaurant is smoke free.


 




10 years later, at 70 years of age, the group meets again and once again they discuss where they should meet. Finally it is agreed that they should meet at the Gausthof zum Lowen because the restaurant is wheel chair accessible and they even have an elevator.


 




10 years later, at 80 years of age, the group meets again and once again they discuss where they should meet. Finally it is agreed that they should meet at the Gausthof zum Lowen because that would be a great idea because they have never been there before.

i think i didn't see it but i'm not sure....wait for existenz34 to answer....

QuoteAwesome' date=' please post more if you can :cheer:[/quote']

be sure i'll post but i can't right now...  <img src="/wp-content/uploads/invision_emoticons/sad.png" alt="" data-emoticon="" srcset="/wp-content/uploads/invision_emoticons/sad@2x.png 2x" width="20" height="20">

i think the big smiley one is better  :lol:

very nice  :cheer:




thanks again for the signature i'll post it today i think....i hadn't time for this :cheer:  :cheer:

welcome to mafiascene comunity i'm sure you'll have a good time here  :cheer:

Quotenice guys, 




I just hope I would be able too  to write some jokes in english,


 




but well thinking about it, in some ways anything I write in english is a joke  :lol:

:lol:  :lol:  :lol:

new jokes friends :


 




It was the mailman's last day on the job after 35 years of carrying the mail through all kinds of weather to the same neighborhood.




When he arrived at the first house on his route he was greeted by the whole family there, who congratulated him and sent him on his way with a big gift certificate envelope.




At the second house they presented him with a box of fine imported cigars.




The folks at the third house handed him a selection of terrific fishing lures.




At each of the houses along his route, he was met with congratulations, farewells, cards, and gifts of all types and values.




At the final house he was met at the door by a strikingly beautiful young blonde in a revealing negligee. She took him by the hand, gently led him through the door (which she closed behind him), and led him up the stairs to the bedroom where they had a most passionate liaison.




Afterwards, they went downstairs, where she fixed him a giant breakfast: eggs, potatoes, ham, sausage, blueberry waffles, and fresh-squeezed orange juice.




When he was truly satisfied she poured him a cup of steaming coffee. As she was pouring, he noticed a dollar bill sticking out from under the cup's bottom edge.




"All this was just too wonderful for words," he said, ".....but what's the dollar for?"




"Well," she said, "Last night, I told my husband that today would be your last day and that we should do something special for you. I asked him what to give you?"




He said, "...Scr*w him .........give him a dollar."




The blonde then blushed and said, "....But the breakfast was my idea."


 


 


 




A priest and a shepherd from Australia participate in a TV game. After answering all the questions, there is a tie. So both are given one final assignment. It is to write a poem in three minutes, using the word "Timbuktu". It is city in Africa.


 




The priest returns with the fruit of his inspiration:


 




"I was a father all my life,




I had no children, had no wife,




I read the bible through and through




on my way to Timbuktu ... "


 




The poem makes a great impression, and the priest smells a sweet victory. But then comes the shepherd, with his winning masterpiece:


 




"When Tim and I to Brisbane went




We met three women cheap to rent.




They were three and we were two,




So I booked one and Tim Booked Two ... "


 


 


 




warning d*rty joke :




[spoiler:3sg5nplv]A man and his wife go to their honeymoon hotel for their 25th anniversary.




As the couple reflected on that magical evening 25 years ago, the wife asked the husband, "When you first saw my naked body in front of you, what was going through your mind?"




The husband replied, "All I wanted to do was to f*ck your brains out, and suck your tits dry."




Then, as the wife undressed, she asked, "What are you thinking now?"




He replied, "It looks as if I did a pretty good job."[/spoiler:3sg5nplv]


 


 




P.S.:if you haven't read the last pages of this topic you should because i think there are the best jokes especialy the NASA-rusia joke




P.P.S:i ask again....just give me a sign that you read this so i should now if i need to post more or not   <img src="/wp-content/uploads/invision_emoticons/tongue.png" alt="" data-emoticon="" srcset="/wp-content/uploads/invision_emoticons/tongue@2x.png 2x" width="20" height="20">   :cheer:  :cheer:

QuoteLong time no see boys :cheer: Welcome haakonm  <img src="/wp-content/uploads/invision_emoticons/wink.png" alt="" data-emoticon="" srcset="/wp-content/uploads/invision_emoticons/wink@2x.png 2x" width="20" height="20">

hi i hope you still remember me  <img src="/wp-content/uploads/invision_emoticons/tongue.png" alt="" data-emoticon="" srcset="/wp-content/uploads/invision_emoticons/tongue@2x.png 2x" width="20" height="20">  i was really wondering where did you go...


 




edit: i saw you went to grece how was it?

QuotePour info cela m'arrive aussi plusieurs fois et si je me souviens bien menu E et anim umbrela dans la voiture, mais je ne sais plus. ou peut etre en essayant de jouer une anim quelconque en voiture alors quel n'etait pas prevue pour. 




It happened to  me several time, but If I remember well something to do with umbrella  anim started in car, or when I tryed any other anim inside car that was not supposed to

i'll try this..seems funny