Do yall know what a bull dog and a shih-tzu make?


 




A bull-shit

hope you'll like them   <img src="/wp-content/uploads/invision_emoticons/wink.png" alt="" data-emoticon="" srcset="/wp-content/uploads/invision_emoticons/wink@2x.png 2x" width="20" height="20">   :


 


 




Once chuck norris and time had race.




Result: The time is still running.




:::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::




A wife was making a breakfast of fried eggs for her husband. Suddenly, her husband burst into the kitchen. 'Careful,' he said, 'CAREFUL! Put in some more butter! Oh my gosh! You're cooking too many at once. TOO MANY! Turn them! TURN THEM NOW! We need more butter. Oh my gosh! WHERE are we going to get MORE BUTTER? They're going to STICK! Careful. CAREFUL! I said be CAREFUL! You NEVER listen to me when you're cooking! Never! Turn them! Hurry up! Are you CRAZY? Have you LOST your mind? Don't forget to salt them. You know you always forget to salt them. Use the! Salt. USE THE SALT! THE SALT!' The wife stared at him. 'What in the world is wrong with you?You think I don't know how to fry a couple of eggs?' The husband calmly replied, 'I just wanted to show you what it feels like when I'm driving.'




:::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::




Wife: Why do you go out in the balcony, when I start singing.




Husband: Because the people would think I am beating you.

Quotehope you'll like them   <img src="/wp-content/uploads/invision_emoticons/wink.png" alt="" data-emoticon="" srcset="/wp-content/uploads/invision_emoticons/wink@2x.png 2x" width="20" height="20">   : 


 




Once chuck norris and time had race.




Result: The time is still running.




:::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::




A wife was making a breakfast of fried eggs for her husband. Suddenly, her husband burst into the kitchen. 'Careful,' he said, 'CAREFUL! Put in some more butter! Oh my gosh! You're cooking too many at once. TOO MANY! Turn them! TURN THEM NOW! We need more butter. Oh my gosh! WHERE are we going to get MORE BUTTER? They're going to STICK! Careful. CAREFUL! I said be CAREFUL! You NEVER listen to me when you're cooking! Never! Turn them! Hurry up! Are you CRAZY? Have you LOST your mind? Don't forget to salt them. You know you always forget to salt them. Use the! Salt. USE THE SALT! THE SALT!' The wife stared at him. 'What in the world is wrong with you?You think I don't know how to fry a couple of eggs?' The husband calmly replied, 'I just wanted to show you what it feels like when I'm driving.'




:::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::




Wife: Why do you go out in the balcony, when I start singing.




Husband: Because the people would think I am beating you.

 




HAHA nice ones!

I lol'd so much at the last one  :lol:  Thanks  <img src="/wp-content/uploads/invision_emoticons/biggrin.png" alt="" data-emoticon="" srcset="/wp-content/uploads/invision_emoticons/biggrin@2x.png 2x" width="20" height="20">

new jokes :cheer:  :


 




How many lawyers dose it take to change a light bulb?


 




3, 1 to climb the ladder, 1 to shake it, and 1 to sue the ladder company


 


 


 




A man had a party where all the rich people attend.




And the he had a pool with alligators. So he announced that anyone who will swim across this pool and come out alive will be granted three wishes.




But no one wanted to go for the challenge. All of a sudden, there was a big splash and a man was swimming like a hell and came out alive.




So the host asked, "What are your three wishes?"




The man replied, "Give me the shotgun and bulllets and show me the idiot that pushed me in ...."


 


 




1st man: It is sickening the way my wife keps talking about her ex husband..




2nd man: Than's nothing, mine keps talking about her next husband.


 


 




<img src="/wp-content/uploads/invision_emoticons/smile.png" alt="" data-emoticon="" srcset="/wp-content/uploads/invision_emoticons/smile@2x.png 2x" width="20" height="20">   :cheer:  :cheer:  :lol:

Haha nice ones thewildnath

QuoteHaha nice ones thewildnath

 




thanks here's another :


 




A guy walks into a bar with his pet monkey. He orders a drink, and while he's drinking, the monkey jumps all over the place, eating everything behind the bar. Then the monkey jumps on to the pool table and swallows a billiard ball.




The bartender screams at the guy, "Your monkey just ate the cue ball off my pool table -- whole!"




"Sorry," replied the guy. "He eats everything in sight, the little bastard. I'll pay for everything."




The man finishes his drink, pays and leaves.




Two weeks later, he's in the bar with his pet monkey, again. He orders a drink, and the monkey starts running around the bar. The monkey finds a maraschino cherry on the bar. He grabs it, sticks it up his ass, pulls it out and eats it.




The bartender is disgusted. "Did you see what your monkey did now?" he asks.




"Yeah," replies the guy. "He still eats everything in sight, but ever since he swallowed that cue ball, he measures stuff first."

HAHA

QuoteHAHA

 




ok...one more and then i go to sleep :


 


 




Four Catholic men and a Catholic woman were having coffee in St. Peters Square.




The first Catholic man tells his friends, "My son is a priest, when he walks into a room, everyone calls him 'Father'."




The second Catholic man chirps, "My son is a Bishop. When he walks into a room people call him 'Your Grace'."




The third Catholic gent says, "My son is a Cardinal. When he enters a room everyone bows their head and says 'Your Eminence'."




The fourth Catholic man says very proudly, "My son is the Pope. When he walks into a room people call him 'Your Holiness'."




Since the lone Catholic woman was sipping her coffee in silence, the four men give her a subtle, "Well .........?"




She proudly replies, "I have a daughter, slim, tall, 38" DD bust, 24" waist and 34" hips.




When she walks into a room, everybody says, "Oh My God."

i found a good one and i am afraid i will forgot it but now i realy go :   <img src="/wp-content/uploads/invision_emoticons/smile.png" alt="" data-emoticon="" srcset="/wp-content/uploads/invision_emoticons/smile@2x.png 2x" width="20" height="20">


 




Sherlock Holmes and Dr Watson go on a camping trip. ÃâàAfter a good dinner and a bottle of wine, they retire for the night, and go to sleep.


 




Some hours later, Holmes wakes up and nudges his faithful friend. âââ¬ÃâWatson, look up at the sky and tell me what you see.âââ¬

:cheer:  :lol:  :woohoo:

another good jokes:


 




When NASA first started sending up astronauts, they quickly discovered that ballpoint pens would not work in zero gravity. To combat the problem, NASA scientists spent a decade and $12 billion to develop a pen that writes in zero gravity, upside down, underwater, on almost any surface including glass and at temperatures ranging from below freezing to 300̡̉C.


 




The Russians used a pencil. :woohoo:  :woohoo:  :woohoo:


 


 




A doctor says to his patient, âââ¬ÃâI have bad news and worse newsâââ¬

please read the last 2 posts because i think there are the best jokes here  <img src="/wp-content/uploads/invision_emoticons/smile.png" alt="" data-emoticon="" srcset="/wp-content/uploads/invision_emoticons/smile@2x.png 2x" width="20" height="20">




ok ,new jokes:




A hundred prostitutes in Washington D.C. were




asked if they would ever sleep with President




Clinton. 60% said, 'Never again!'


 


 




Teacher: What makes you see?




Bobyjack: My eyes, my nose and my ears.




Teacher: True for the eyes but why for your ears and nose?




Bobyjack: It's to hold my glasses!!!


 


 




Teacher:Children nothing is impossible!




A Student:Sir,then take out the tooth paste from the tube and put it back!!!


 


 




yo mama hope you like them if not just tell me)


 




Yo Mamas so stupid she was yelling into the mailbox. We ask her whats she doing and she said, she was sending a voice-mail.




Yo mama is so fat that when she died jesus couldn't lift her soul to heaven.




Yo mama so stupid she stole a free sample.




my idea(not really...):Yo Mama is so slow when she was driving she got a parking ticket.

does anyone read this?....




ok i know that you are reading but just give me a sign.... :cheer:  :cheer:  :cheer:

Haha, You post the best ones  <img src="/wp-content/uploads/invision_emoticons/tongue.png" alt="" data-emoticon="" srcset="/wp-content/uploads/invision_emoticons/tongue@2x.png 2x" width="20" height="20">