When I was a KID:




Pussy meant CAT,




Sex meant GENDER,




Bitch was a DOG,




Dick was a NAME,




BJ was a NICK-NAME,




Bang was a SOUND,




Rubber was just like PLASTIC,




Ass was an ANIMAL,




Screw was just a NUT,




Tit was a SNACK,




Head meant a part of BODY !!




But Now




Everything is just Damn Complicated .???ââ¬Â¦.


 




from https://www.facebook.com/AzzyHassebHaveDirtyMind


 




:lol:

Who fucked my mom ?


 




5 % my dad




95 %  kids from online games <img src="/wp-content/uploads/invision_emoticons/biggrin.png" alt="" data-emoticon="" srcset="/wp-content/uploads/invision_emoticons/biggrin@2x.png 2x" width="20" height="20">

I found this funny when I realised what you meant  :lol:

QuoteI found this funny when I realised what you meant  :lol:

 




Yeah, that word might have two meanings <img src="/wp-content/uploads/invision_emoticons/tongue.png" alt="" data-emoticon="" srcset="/wp-content/uploads/invision_emoticons/tongue@2x.png 2x" width="20" height="20">

Head is for my still part of body .. what is second meaning of it ? <img src="/wp-content/uploads/invision_emoticons/biggrin.png" alt="" data-emoticon="" srcset="/wp-content/uploads/invision_emoticons/biggrin@2x.png 2x" width="20" height="20">

QuoteHead is for my still part of body .. what is second meaning of it ? <img src="/wp-content/uploads/invision_emoticons/biggrin.png" alt="" data-emoticon="" srcset="/wp-content/uploads/invision_emoticons/biggrin@2x.png 2x" width="20" height="20">

 




I mean 'fuck' word - sometimes it means fuck (sex) and sometimes it means fuck (cheat someone) <img src="/wp-content/uploads/invision_emoticons/tongue.png" alt="" data-emoticon="" srcset="/wp-content/uploads/invision_emoticons/tongue@2x.png 2x" width="20" height="20">

So Head means fuck ? <img src="/wp-content/uploads/invision_emoticons/biggrin.png" alt="" data-emoticon="" srcset="/wp-content/uploads/invision_emoticons/biggrin@2x.png 2x" width="20" height="20">

<img src="/wp-content/uploads/invision_emoticons/smile.png" alt="" data-emoticon="" srcset="/wp-content/uploads/invision_emoticons/smile@2x.png 2x" width="20" height="20">  morning people!


 




A boss and two employees are sent away for a on-site work. At lunch time, they have a break, buy food and




go to eat it in a beautyful public park.


 




Between the grass, one of them notices a old brass lamp, like the one described in kids stories.




He grabs it shouting  "look at it, it's like the aladino's fable one!"


 




So they all start arguing if there is a Genius in it or not, and after a little while, decided to rub it.


 




A big, old, tired Genius with a long white beard appears, and with a calm, slow-paced voice he started to explain to them




to be over 1000 years old, and this one will be the last time he can appear, and he can only fullfill 3 wishes, and




because they are 3 people, they can ask only  one wish for each.


 




Incredulous, the first employee says he liked to be on a tropical beach with a cool drink.




The Genius snaps his fingers, and the employee suddenly disappears in a colorful cloud with a "poof" sound.


 




The second employee, astounded and wondered, asks excitedly : "me too! ...and with a beautyful blonde woman, and




I also want to be rich!"




Again, the Genius snaps his fingers, and the second employee suddenly disappears in a colorful cloud with a "poof" sound,




and  then, looking the boss in his eyes, the Genius asks him what he desired the most, before he can finally disappear forever.


 




The boss thinks a little, then replies to the Genius : "For the end of the lunch break, those two morons should be back on the job."

spaghettino   DDDDDDDD

Shit the boss is really an asshole!!

QuoteSo Head means fuck ? <img src="/wp-content/uploads/invision_emoticons/biggrin.png" alt="" data-emoticon="" srcset="/wp-content/uploads/invision_emoticons/biggrin@2x.png 2x" width="20" height="20">

 




Lay off from that head :lol:

Several men are in the locker room of a golf club. A cell phone




on a bench rings and a man engages the hands free speaker




function and begins to talk. Everyone else in the room stops to listen.




MAN: "Hello"




WOMAN: "Honey, it's me. Are you at the club?"




MAN: "Yes"




WOMAN: "I am at the mall now and found this beautiful




leather coat. It's only $1,000. Is it OK if I buy it?"




MAN: "Sure, go ahead if you like it that much."




WOMAN: "I also stopped by the Mercedes dealership and




saw the new 2007 models. I saw one I really liked."




MAN: "How much?"




WOMAN: "$90,000"




MAN: "OK, but for that price I want it with all the options."




WOMAN: "Great! Oh, and one more thing...the house I wanted




last year is back on the market. They're asking $950,000"




MAN: "Well, then go ahead and give them an offer of $900,000. T hey will




probably take it. If not, we can go the extra 50 thousand if it's really




a pretty good price."




WOMAN: "OK. I'll see you later! I love you so much!"




MAN: "Bye! I love you, too."




The man hangs up. The other men in the locker room




are staring at him in astonishment, mouths agape.




He turns and asks: "Anyone know who this phone belongs to?"


 




Two couples were playing cards. Jeff accidentally dropped some cards on the floor. When he bent down under the table to pick them up, he noticed that Dave's wife, Sandy, was not wearing any underwear! Shocked by this, Jeff hit his head on the table and emerged red-faced.




Later when Jeff went to the kitchen to get some refreshments Sandy followed him and asked, "Did you see anything under the table that you liked?" Jeff admitted, "Well, yes I did." She said "you can have it, but it will cost you $100." After a minute or two, Jeff indicates that he is interested. She tells him that since Dave works Friday afternoons and Jeff doesn't, that Jeff should come to their house around 2:00 PM on Friday.




Friday came and Jeff went to her house at 2:00 PM. After paying her the $100, they went to the bedroom, had sex for a few hours and then Jeff left.




Dave came home about 6:00 PM and asked his wife, "Did Jeff come by this afternoon?" Totally shocked, Sandy replied, "Yes, he did stop by for a few minutes." Next Dave asked, "Did Jeff give you $100?" Sandy thought, 'Oh hell, he knows!' reluctantly she said, "Yes, he did give me $100." "Good," Dave says. "Jeff came by the office this morning and borrowed the $100 from me and said that he'd stop by our house on his way home and pay me back. It's so good to have a friend you can trust."


 




Two young lovers go up to the mountains for a romantic winter vacation. When they get there, the guy goes out to chop some wood. When he gets back,


 




He says,"Honey, my hands are freezing!" She says,"Well, put them here between my thighs and that will warm them up." After lunch he goes back out to chop some more wood and comes back and says again, "Man! my hands are really freezing!"


 




She says again, "Well, put them here between my thighs and warm them up." He does, and again that warms him up. After dinner, he goes out one more time to chop some wood to get them through the night. When he returns, he says again, "Honey, my hands are really, really freezing!"


 




She looks at him and says, "For crying out loud, don't your ears ever get cold?"


 




Lmao Damn:


 




One day in the great forest, a magical frog was walking down to a water hole. This forest was so big that the frog had never seen another animal in all his life. By chance today a bear was chasing after a rabbit to have for dinner.




The frog called for the two to stop. "Because you are the only two animals I have ever seen", the frog said. "I will grant you both three wishes. Bear, you go first."




The bear thought for a minute, and being the male he was, said, "I wish for all the bears in this forest, besides me, to be female."




For his wish, the rabbit asked for a crash




helmet, and immediately put it on. The bear was amazed at the stupidity of the rabbit, wasting his wish like that.




It was the bear's second turn for a wish. "Well, I wish that all the bears in the next forest were female as well."




Rabbit asked for a motorcycle and immediately hopped on it and gunned the engine. The bear was shocked that the rabbit was asking for these stupid things, after all, he could have asked for




money and bought the motorcycle.




For the last wish the bear thought for a while and then said, "I wish that all the bears in the world, besides me, were female."




The rabbit grinned, gunned the engine, and said,




"I wish the bear was gay."


 




https://www.facebook.com/AzzyHassebHaveDirtyMind


 




:lol:  :lol:  :lol:

Several men are in the locker room of a golf club. A cell phone




on a bench rings and a man engages the hands free speaker




function and begins to talk. Everyone else in the room stops to listen.




MAN: "Hello"




WOMAN: "Honey, it's me. Are you at the club?"




MAN: "Yes"




WOMAN: "I am at the mall now and found this beautiful




leather coat. It's only $1,000. Is it OK if I buy it?"




MAN: "Sure, go ahead if you like it that much."




WOMAN: "I also stopped by the Mercedes dealership and




saw the new 2007 models. I saw one I really liked."




MAN: "How much?"




WOMAN: "$90,000"




MAN: "OK, but for that price I want it with all the options."




WOMAN: "Great! Oh, and one more thing...the house I wanted




last year is back on the market. They're asking $950,000"




MAN: "Well, then go ahead and give them an offer of $900,000. T hey will




probably take it. If not, we can go the extra 50 thousand if it's really




a pretty good price."




WOMAN: "OK. I'll see you later! I love you so much!"




MAN: "Bye! I love you, too."




The man hangs up. The other men in the locker room




are staring at him in astonishment, mouths agape.




He turns and asks: "Anyone know who this phone belongs to?"


 




Two couples were playing cards. Jeff accidentally dropped some cards on the floor. When he bent down under the table to pick them up, he noticed that Dave's wife, Sandy, was not wearing any underwear! Shocked by this, Jeff hit his head on the table and emerged red-faced.




Later when Jeff went to the kitchen to get some refreshments Sandy followed him and asked, "Did you see anything under the table that you liked?" Jeff admitted, "Well, yes I did." She said "you can have it, but it will cost you $100." After a minute or two, Jeff indicates that he is interested. She tells him that since Dave works Friday afternoons and Jeff doesn't, that Jeff should come to their house around 2:00 PM on Friday.




Friday came and Jeff went to her house at 2:00 PM. After paying her the $100, they went to the bedroom, had sex for a few hours and then Jeff left.




Dave came home about 6:00 PM and asked his wife, "Did Jeff come by this afternoon?" Totally shocked, Sandy replied, "Yes, he did stop by for a few minutes." Next Dave asked, "Did Jeff give you $100?" Sandy thought, 'Oh hell, he knows!' reluctantly she said, "Yes, he did give me $100." "Good," Dave says. "Jeff came by the office this morning and borrowed the $100 from me and said that he'd stop by our house on his way home and pay me back. It's so good to have a friend you can trust."


 




Two young lovers go up to the mountains for a romantic winter vacation. When they get there, the guy goes out to chop some wood. When he gets back,




He says,"Honey, my hands are freezing!" She says,"Well, put them here between my thighs and that will warm them up." After lunch he goes back out to chop some more wood and comes back and says again, "Man! my hands are really freezing!"




She says again, "Well, put them here between my thighs and warm them up." He does, and again that warms him up. After dinner, he goes out one more time to chop some wood to get them through the night. When he returns, he says again, "Honey, my hands are really, really freezing!"




She looks at him and says, "For crying out loud, don't your ears ever get cold?"


 




Lmao Damn:


 




One day in the great forest, a magical frog was walking down to a water hole. This forest was so big that the frog had never seen another animal in all his life. By chance today a bear was chasing after a rabbit to have for dinner.




The frog called for the two to stop. "Because you are the only two animals I have ever seen", the frog said. "I will grant you both three wishes. Bear, you go first."




The bear thought for a minute, and being the male he was, said, "I wish for all the bears in this forest, besides me, to be female."




For his wish, the rabbit asked for a crash




helmet, and immediately put it on. The bear was amazed at the stupidity of the rabbit, wasting his wish like that.




It was the bear's second turn for a wish. "Well, I wish that all the bears in the next forest were female as well."




Rabbit asked for a motorcycle and immediately hopped on it and gunned the engine. The bear was shocked that the rabbit was asking for these stupid things, after all, he could have asked for




money and bought the motorcycle.




For the last wish the bear thought for a while and then said, "I wish that all the bears in the world, besides me, were female."




The rabbit grinned, gunned the engine, and said,




"I wish the bear was gay."


 




https://www.facebook.com/AzzyHassebHaveDirtyMind


 




:lol:  :lol:  :lol:

Several men are in the locker room of a golf club. A cell phone




on a bench rings and a man engages the hands free speaker




function and begins to talk. Everyone else in the room stops to listen.




MAN: "Hello"




WOMAN: "Honey, it's me. Are you at the club?"




MAN: "Yes"




WOMAN: "I am at the mall now and found this beautiful




leather coat. It's only $1,000. Is it OK if I buy it?"




MAN: "Sure, go ahead if you like it that much."




WOMAN: "I also stopped by the Mercedes dealership and




saw the new 2007 models. I saw one I really liked."




MAN: "How much?"




WOMAN: "$90,000"




MAN: "OK, but for that price I want it with all the options."




WOMAN: "Great! Oh, and one more thing...the house I wanted




last year is back on the market. They're asking $950,000"




MAN: "Well, then go ahead and give them an offer of $900,000. T hey will




probably take it. If not, we can go the extra 50 thousand if it's really




a pretty good price."




WOMAN: "OK. I'll see you later! I love you so much!"




MAN: "Bye! I love you, too."




The man hangs up. The other men in the locker room




are staring at him in astonishment, mouths agape.




He turns and asks: "Anyone know who this phone belongs to?"


 




Two couples were playing cards. Jeff accidentally dropped some cards on the floor. When he bent down under the table to pick them up, he noticed that Dave's wife, Sandy, was not wearing any underwear! Shocked by this, Jeff hit his head on the table and emerged red-faced.




Later when Jeff went to the kitchen to get some refreshments Sandy followed him and asked, "Did you see anything under the table that you liked?" Jeff admitted, "Well, yes I did." She said "you can have it, but it will cost you $100." After a minute or two, Jeff indicates that he is interested. She tells him that since Dave works Friday afternoons and Jeff doesn't, that Jeff should come to their house around 2:00 PM on Friday.




Friday came and Jeff went to her house at 2:00 PM. After paying her the $100, they went to the bedroom, had sex for a few hours and then Jeff left.




Dave came home about 6:00 PM and asked his wife, "Did Jeff come by this afternoon?" Totally shocked, Sandy replied, "Yes, he did stop by for a few minutes." Next Dave asked, "Did Jeff give you $100?" Sandy thought, 'Oh hell, he knows!' reluctantly she said, "Yes, he did give me $100." "Good," Dave says. "Jeff came by the office this morning and borrowed the $100 from me and said that he'd stop by our house on his way home and pay me back. It's so good to have a friend you can trust."


 




Two young lovers go up to the mountains for a romantic winter vacation. When they get there, the guy goes out to chop some wood. When he gets back,




He says,"Honey, my hands are freezing!" She says,"Well, put them here between my thighs and that will warm them up." After lunch he goes back out to chop some more wood and comes back and says again, "Man! my hands are really freezing!"




She says again, "Well, put them here between my thighs and warm them up." He does, and again that warms him up. After dinner, he goes out one more time to chop some wood to get them through the night. When he returns, he says again, "Honey, my hands are really, really freezing!"




She looks at him and says, "For crying out loud, don't your ears ever get cold?"


 




Lmao Damn:


 




One day in the great forest, a magical frog was walking down to a water hole. This forest was so big that the frog had never seen another animal in all his life. By chance today a bear was chasing after a rabbit to have for dinner.




The frog called for the two to stop. "Because you are the only two animals I have ever seen", the frog said. "I will grant you both three wishes. Bear, you go first."




The bear thought for a minute, and being the male he was, said, "I wish for all the bears in this forest, besides me, to be female."




For his wish, the rabbit asked for a crash




helmet, and immediately put it on. The bear was amazed at the stupidity of the rabbit, wasting his wish like that.




It was the bear's second turn for a wish. "Well, I wish that all the bears in the next forest were female as well."




Rabbit asked for a motorcycle and immediately hopped on it and gunned the engine. The bear was shocked that the rabbit was asking for these stupid things, after all, he could have asked for




money and bought the motorcycle.




For the last wish the bear thought for a while and then said, "I wish that all the bears in the world, besides me, were female."




The rabbit grinned, gunned the engine, and said,




"I wish the bear was gay."


 




From https://www.facebook.com/AzzyHassebHaveDirtyMind


 




:lol:  :lol:  :lol:

Women's response to ....




.




.




2 inches - I can't even hold it




properly.




3 inches - Never been so




unsatisfied, in my whole life.




4 inches- I've had bigger than it .




5 inches- Good, but not enough!




6 inches- Almost all right.




7 inches- Can't complain, now .




8 inches - Perfect!




9 inches - A bit longer but




manageable.




10 inches- Means pressure on




stomach and intestine.




.




.




This survey was to understand




Customer's Feedback on different




SIZES of Subway Sandwiches.




.




But I love the way you think!! ;(


 




From https://www.facebook.com/AzzyHassebHaveDirtyMind